32-year-old mom of a 3-month-old asks mother-in-law to stop constantly watching baby monitor footage of her and her baby: 'She'll text things like, "I would’ve picked him up sooner, but you’re the mama!"'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

We live in a surveillance state now more than ever. I'm not even particularly concerned about the government constantly monitoring my location and activities. I'm more concerned about the people in my life who have my location. Instagram recently launched a feature that lets you view a map showing exactly where your followers have posted. That's a bit too much information for me. I will check my friends' locations. If I'm meeting up with them somewhere and want to see how far away they are, but other than that, I don't feel like I should know if they're at home or not at any given moment of the day. 

We all know that one person who is obsessed with checking everyone's locations, no matter the occasion. They're probably not doing it for nefarious stalking reasons, but it might make the people in their life uncomfortable, especially if they're texting to ask, "What do you think of that Foot Locker location? I've been wanting to check it out."

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10541772032
    via Hollie Santos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The mom in this story is surveilling her daughter-in-law and grandchild during what should be private moments. Her daughter-in-law and son have a live feed of their baby's nursery, and she is taking full advantage of the video footage, despite how uncomfortable it makes her daughter-in-law.

  • AITA for revoking my MIL’s baby monitor access after a comment she made while I was breastfeeding?

    I (32F) have a 3 month old baby with my husband (31M). His mom lives across the country (we're on the east coast, she's in California), and to be honest, she's always been a little intense.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Not a full blown monster-in-law, but def more "involved" than I'm used to. Like, she's the kind of woman who will call to say she saw a "cuter" outfit for the baby than the one I posted on IG.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • pponcino matelas doux Bambi Bamb 310 la
    via Birgith Roosipuu

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Anyway, when our baby was born, my MIL asked if she could have access to the baby monitor so she could "see her grandchild grow up from afar." I was a little iffy on it but my husband thought it would be sweet and would help her feel more connected, since she can't visit often. So I agreed.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • We have a Nanit camera in the nursery which lets you view the video feed from anywhere. What I didn't realize is that she'd be watching us all the time. Like, not just the baby sleeping. She comments on things she has no business even noticing
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Like the other day, I was breastfeeding in the nursery (I wear a robe cause it's more comfy) and a few hours later she texted my husband saying, "Tell [my name] I'd be happy to send her a nicer robe, that red one's looking a little raggedy." Like.. what?? Excuse me??
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • I was so creeped out. I mean, that was clearly during a private moment, not just the baby napping. I told my husband and he kinda just shrugged it off. He said something like, "She doesn't mean anything by it. She's just observant. I grew up like that. We never had real privacy in the house."
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Okay but... we're not kids anymore? And she's not even here?
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Cheezburger Image 10541775872
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She also makes weird little passive-aggressive comments. Like if the baby cries for a while, she'll text things like, "Poor little guy, someone must be tired today" or "I would've picked him up sooner, but you're the mama!" Which feels like she's judging me but trying to play it off as casual.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • And she always acts like she's trying to “help” but it's in a way that makes me feel like I'm constantly being watched and judged. It's not mean, just kinda... boundary-pushy?
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • So I changed the settings on the camera so she can't access it anymore. I didn't announce it, I just did it. She texted my husband asking if something was wrong with her app, and now he's mad at me for “making it a thing.”
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • He says it was harmless and now she feels "cut off," and I could've just told her instead of "going behind everyone's back." I told him I didn't think I needed permission to stop someone from watching me in my own house. He says I overreacted.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • I feel like I'm losing my mind a little because to me this is a huge privacy issue, but maybe I'm being dramatic? I just don't want someone literally across the country watching me breastfeed and make comments on my clothes and parenting. So... AITA?
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • XELA_38 nta tell him you'll set up the nanny cam in his office/man cave and his mom can watch him!!!! Solve both of their problems. Your parenting is between you and him. She is not a third parent and it's high time she was reminded of that.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Vox_Mortem NTA, that's invasive and creepy. I would feel incredibly violated if someone was always watching and making comments like that. If you are at all interested in compromise (full disclosure, I would not be) maybe you can agree to turn it on at specific times so she can 'visit,' like naptime or playtime.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • TA122278 She should ask the husband how he would feel if she sets up a camera in his room so mommy can have access to his private moments and make comments about him when he's half naked. When he says it's not the same (and he will) ask him HOW it's ok for his creepy mother to watch her in a private moment vs him. Just bc there's also a baby in the room doesn't make it any less weird that she can spy on them whenever she wants.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Bubbly_Chicken_9358 He would be right--it's not the same. It's SO much worse for her to watch her daughter-in-law than her son. At least her son is aware of it and-- weirdly--is giving consent. DIL is very clearly saying she does NOT consent and they're both trying to push her into it anyway.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • loverlyone And "we never had privacy" growing up is not the appropriate response either. That's a problem hubby is going to have to address. It's not normal or appropriate for children to have no privacy and his belief that the intrusive behavior is normal is going to continue to be a problem. IMO.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • It prob already is more of a problem, things just haven't gotten more irritating before now. OP you're not wrong, but you should have told her or hubby before turning off the camera. You're not wrong, but now you seem passive aggressive.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • Bubbly_Chicken_9358 It's a bigger problem than she realizes, too. Does he expect their children to never have privacy? At what age is he (and grandma!) going to be OK with taking the camera out of the child's room? Will they guilt the child for wanting privacy the same way they are guilting the mother for wanting privacy?
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • JoJo_kitten NTA. Also, husband doesn't need to actually understand or approve this. It is a basic consent issue that he is not supporting I'm order to have to set reasonable boundaries for his Mum. Also, I actually would be worried about the security of having a live video feed of my baby. Surely a live video feed is not needed? Parents coped just fine with audio feed when I was younger.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • OP, I should just say, "I don't feel comfortable or safe being watched why by another person, your mother, my mother, no-one at all, in my own home. This is my private space. I do not consent to this. I was upfront and told you I was uncomfortable and instead of accepting this, you debated it and pushed me into trialing it. When your mother behaved in a way that added to my discomfort, you minimised how I felt rather than supported me. I felt I had no option but to do this.
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377
  • I am happy to have video chats as an alternative. And I think we need to have some couple's therapy,[if OP does] to work through the best way to understand and support each other's boundaries."
    via u/Valuable-Kitchen4377

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

baby monitor family drama daughter in law baby infant mother reddit story parenting dad in laws mother in law family reddit thread Reddit mom Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article